"A Lifetime" - Commentary and discussion

Tales of the Interstate

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Wheeler
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"A Lifetime" - Commentary and discussion

Post by Wheeler » Fri Jun 04, 2004 2:45 pm

Post the Feedback here. Or create a new topic if the story's deserved that.




Edit: Moved from the original "A Lifetime" thread.
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Fnork
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Post by Fnork » Fri Jun 04, 2004 11:41 pm

It's a pretty decent start, but it's still too soon to critique properly

keep it coming!

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Ace English
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Post by Ace English » Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:03 pm

Damn! The car got killed :(
Looking forward to the next installment :)

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Redline Fox
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Post by Redline Fox » Fri Aug 27, 2004 9:59 pm

Wheeler, please contact me about your story and let me know if you have any plans on finishing or continuing with it.

Thanks, RLF.

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Post by HMG [UKA] » Wed Sep 15, 2004 5:08 am

There's already comments here, so I won't start a new topic. :)

I found the first 4 instalments gripping and can't wait to read the next one, but now pressure Wheeler, take your time!

8)

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Post by Grey Fox [FD] » Wed Sep 15, 2004 11:58 am

Good read mate! i like it. When do you suppose the next parts will be coming eh?

Like HMG said, no pressure! PRESSURE!!! PRESSURE!!! :wink:

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Post by Wheeler » Wed Sep 15, 2004 12:16 pm

I'll be done with the next one after the coming weekend.
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Errrmmm...

Post by Wheeler » Fri Oct 15, 2004 3:32 pm

*Cough* Any comments?
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Post by KIV 6051 [SH] » Fri Oct 15, 2004 4:23 pm

I think it's a good story, though I think you ought to have more detail in the setting, as well as what's going throught Chris' head. I figured he would have thought long and hard about switching from cop to legally a criminal. If I were him I would fear greatly for the future of my wife and kid.

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Ace English
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Post by Ace English » Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:38 am

It's a bit Tolkien at the minute- by which I mean there's a lot of story- stuff happens, and it's noted that stuff is happening, but we're not seeing much emotion, or thoughts of the character(s).

I know I'm prone to too much introspection with my writing, but there's probably a happy medium.
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Post by Redline Fox » Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:40 am

There does'nt always have to be something happening for a scene to be important or intresting. Consider.

There is some noted improvement in some areas, I suggest you go back, read what you have from the start and look for any changes that may have occured in the style of your writing or the consistency of the characters. Taking a step back from the story, analyzing it, can help you improve it later.

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Post by Wheeler » Sat Oct 16, 2004 2:27 pm

Thanks for the comments, will take note on further writing. :)
I want a Mustang...
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Post by Fixx » Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:02 pm

I'd have to say it's riveting. I keep checking for an update and am even inspired to try my own hand at writing something.

Keep up the good work.
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Post by HMG [UKA] » Fri Oct 29, 2004 12:53 pm

Hey Wheeler,

It's a good job so far. I quite like the latest cliff hanger, can't wait to see where that goes.

About the dialogs, I would kind of like to know who's saying what at the part where Shred asks how everyone is. It's minor anyway, other than that I like the story so far.

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Post by Wheeler » Fri Oct 29, 2004 1:24 pm

I quite like the latest cliff hanger, can't wait to see where that goes.
Yeah, kind of like a soap opera, innit? :lol:

About the dialog:

1. Fixx
2. Wheeler
3. Murdock
4. Jay
5. Jon Factor

That'll do, I assume? :)
I want a Mustang...
Rock on.

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